A Pocketful of Nostalgia

As 21-year-old, while past events are still vivid inside my head; while some of my childhood euphoric and melancholic moments are still as fresh as my mind could remember, I want to write everything down here regardless if it's worth sharing or not.  For the sake of my memories being preserved in the system, before they fall into oblivion, as I am on its precipice already, anyway.  

       I. First Memory

I believe the first memory I could recollect was during my mom's 3rd labor, the birth of my 2nd sibling, on that delightful day of January 17th year 2002. As 4 years old at that time, I remember waking up being grumpy, whilst my younger brother, Rj, was still sleeping beside me. I immediately looked for my mom because that's what all kids do when they wake-up sad and feel like crying, they wanna hear the comforting voices of their mommies. But when I realized my mom was not there, I got out of the bed, walked right out of the dark bedroom, and saw my Aunt, my mom's sister, sitting inside our small retail-store which was an extension of our former home. 

I called her, "Tita asa si mama? (Tita, where's mama?"), she responded and held me with assurance, " Nanganak na imong mama sa ospital, langga. Makita na nimo imong manghod. (She's in the hospital, dear, giving birth. You're going to finally see your baby sibling.)". Upon understanding what she had said, my face turned bright, and I felt happy in an instant. "Yehey! I'm finally going to see my baby sister!" I thought to myself. 

Yep, I really thought that I was going to have a baby sister, until they came home, and heard that the name was actually Cleve Aron. However, Aron was such a cutie-pie when he was a baby, so my disappointment for not having a sister was eventually gone away with the wind.

  

            II. Discovering a satisfying (somehow unique) trait

For sure, each of us has experienced being asked in class, especially during the first day, with this generic yet challenging-to-think-of question: "Tell us something unique about yourself?", and everyone in the class just goes suddenly crazy because they are either, unable to think of any or just kind of embarrassed to share it with people they hardly know of. Then there's just me, who's kind of skeptical if this is even a unique thing but proceeds on sharing it anyway. 

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The thing that is a very integral part of myself but becomes a hassle on frequent times: I cannot sleep and stay relaxed without rubbing my feet on rough-textured fabric material. 

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I discovered having this kind of trait or behavior when I was four years old. I tried rubbing my foot on my dad's newly cut hair and I realized that it felt really satisfying and relaxing to me. Until the day came that I could hardly sleep anymore with my feet just rubbing on an ordinary bed-sheet or foam cover, so they decided to buy me a foam with a really rough-textured cover, and it actually felt like I was in a cloud-9 (assuming that I knew what cloud-9 felt like haha).

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After that significant self-discovery, I remember visiting my grandparents in the province always excited to see a mosquito-net which I would consider as the most satisfying thing to rub your feet on. I also found out that most of my Aunts, in my dad's side, do the exact same thing! That's when I had a presumption that this could be passed on by generation to generation, but to which I'm not sure if there's scientific evidence to support this claim, but anyhow, I still find it very amusing. 

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I'm already 21 and I'm still doing it, I guess it will never go away, and it's fine. Because rubbing your feet with any kind rough-textured fabric is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I could, as a matter of fact, sleep on a cold hard floor anywhere, just provide me the roughest textured fabric or mosquito-net you can find. 

 III. The Certified NPA (No Permanent Address)

"Change is the only constant thing in the world." 

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You don't believe it? 

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What if I tell you that I've had experienced changing addresses as far as my existence?

From the moment I was born, up to this very day that I'm already an adult and officially employed, there's nothing more exhausting but actually fun than that hahaha!

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As my mind revisits those times, I can't help but realize that the changing-of-address, created life-changing thoughts and experiences, as well.  

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Thinking about the kinds of houses we lived in, the people that came and went. From living to a huge house to staying in a one (1) room abode with the 5 of us occupying. From renting a house that gave me goosebumps and later found out that there was actually a sinister that took place underneath that pretty facade, to a house that looks like a haunted at first glance but turned out to be peaceful and serene. 

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At this present day and age, after the years of my parents' hard work and sacrifices, we finally have the place we can call our own. A three-bedroom humble abode, with a front patio and 2 lovely dogs, everything is gradually falling into its own place, and I'm grateful. 

However, since right now that I'm working overseas, moving to different address has become inevitable again. 

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Nevertheless, Home is where the heart is, your family is, and that's what matters, and I'm gonna hold on to that. 

          IV.  Cases of Earliest Puppy-love

I was the kind of child who was extremely fascinated with the concept of love. In fact, as weird as it may sound, I had wandered early in that path. Disclaimer: I have not had any coitus 100%, I don't have a boyfriend, I'm alone, and what I will share is, definitely, not an imagination. This is pretty normal to a lot of kids. This is the age bracket where curiosity subsumes them.  

 I. " That super-hero-shaped balloon."

 I remember this particular scene when I was around 4, my mom bought my brother this power-ranger balloon, and the height was almost as same as mine; you know, the ones that you bought outside the church every after mass when you were also just a kid.  I'm not quite certain what's gotten into me as a four-year-old innocent child that I kissed it, not on the cheeks, but rather, on the mundane object's tiny lips, as if I was re-enacting how adults do it (LOL). I'm pretty sure my mom caught me, so she took the balloon away from my premises and just told me with the resounding "No."

II. "Hmm. Holding-hands seems nice. - 5 year-old me"

Unlike other kids who went first from Nursery and Kindergarten-1 before going to Kindergarten 2, I never had the chance to do so. I was 5 then, and I started immediately on Kindergarten 2 because my parents thought they saw a potential in me and that they thought I was a fast learner, which was kind of funny, as I did not think of this to myself. 
So, the first few months of my kindergarten, I had this classmate-slash-seatmate whom I found interesting. I don't quite remember if we had formed a bit of a conversation before because I was not that talkative (haha), but what I can clearly remember is that particular scene where this boy and I hold hands inside the classroom whilst we're on our seats and whilst our teacher was discussing in front. We kept holding hands until my teacher caught us and she walked to our respective seats, gesturing us to not do that kind of behavior. So we followed her reprimand and went back to doing some educational stuff (lol). Until my teacher went outside for a bit and, and before they even knew it,  we went back to holding our hands again (haha). It didn't last long though, as I transferred to another school a few weeks later.

III. " Tanya and her lonely playhouse inside the 1st-grade classroom"

As I have mentioned that we had been transferring houses for almost 18 years, right? And as we move from house to another, it also resulted in us siblings to frequently transfer schools. It was indubitably exhilarating, I had to meet and socialize with different groups of people every school year. I had to make an impression again to my classmates that I was funny, friendly and nice- which I really was not.  n

Having no permanent residence for more than 18 years resulted in multiple and frequent transferring of schools.  I had to meet and socialize with different groups of people every school year. I had to make an impression again to my classmates that I was funny, friendly and nice- which I really was not.

I was in grade 1, my teach